


why all the best laid plans, fall apart in your hands

by ahoymultiships



Series: Take care of yourself this Happiest Season [1]
Category: Happiest Season (2020)
Genre: Angsty and Nuanced, F/F, Friendships are the best, Gen, I started writing this in the last ten minutes of the movie, Nuanced Ending, You're allowed to be happy for someone and still be terribly hurt, bisexual abby holland, different ending, diverges at the gas station, therapy helps people you guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27760894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahoymultiships/pseuds/ahoymultiships
Summary: If you want to know someone, travel with them. Abby has more thoughts at the gas station.
Relationships: Abby Holland and John, Harper Caldwell/Abby Holland
Series: Take care of yourself this Happiest Season [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030818
Comments: 10
Kudos: 71





	why all the best laid plans, fall apart in your hands

**Author's Note:**

> I get that they made it a happy ending because it's a holiday movie, but I have been too grumpy throughout the entire movie to just let it slide. So, I wrote this. I have a lot more thoughts (including therapist sessions woohoo), so maybe this'll become a series.

“I only care about you.”

_“If I choose you, I’ll lose them.”_

“I’ve been horrible to you this week.”

_“I just don’t know why you’re keeping tabs on me.”_

“I’ll make it up to you for the rest of our lives.”

_“It’s just making me wonder who the real Harper is.”_

John mouths to her – Just do it. She laughs inwardly, adding on the usual ‘bitch’ to their catchphrase – the way they made the other person rip off the band-aid for shitty things to do.

Abby chastely kisses Harper – “I’m really proud of you for finally telling your parents. But I can’t do this anymore. Or rather, I need some time before I can talk to you about this. About us.”

Harper looked shocked.

Abby knew this was far from the happy ending she’d envisioned for them around New Year’s. She was right, Christmas sucked. She immediately corrected herself – overgeneralization did not help. This situation sucked. Abby wanted to console Harper but stopped herself. She had spent a lot of sessions in therapy to not take care of herself in a situation like this. It was okay to put herself first.

Harper pleaded, “I just came out for you. You can’t do this! I love you,” She asserted, “I LOVE you, I promise I’ll be better, Abby please, pl- ”

“Harper, I love you. I really do. But these last five days have been miserable. I completely catered to everything you needed. You then turned around and told me I suffocated you.”

“And I said I’m sorry!”

“And I believe you.” Abby watched John go walk to his car, snack packet already open. She’d have to buy some Cheetos before they left the gas station.

She repeated, “I believe you. But also, I’ve been hurt before, just like this. You know it. I’m allowed to feel hurt about this.”

Harper broke down. She remembered holding onto Abby, as Abby told her about one of her ex-boyfriends, Jake, who preferred to ignore that Abby was bisexual. The awkward situation when Abby met his friends for the first time, and the amount of lewd threesome jokes made after Abby mentioned her ex-girlfriend. The pain that Abby had gone through, when Jake just nervously laughed along, when he later told her to chill, that everyone assumed bisexual people were sluts, that maybe she shouldn’t make ex-girlfriend comments anymore around his friends.

“I’m nothing like Jake. I’m not… am I?”

Abby shrugged and ran her fingers agitatedly through her hair. It comforted her to do this, to be more her at this gas station than she had ever been in the last few days.

“I don’t know, Harper. It’s how I feel right now. Maybe I’ll work through it in the next week. Maybe I won’t. You need to give me the space to actually work through it, though. I’ll go stay at John’s. Or maybe Lexi’s. John killed the fish I had to take care of.” Abby heard a slight cough but ignored it.

Harper emphatically started, “No, no, I should leave. I’ll go – “

“No, I moved into your place –“

“But, I made the mistak–“

John coughed a little louder. He’d driven up closer to them, and had his window rolled all the way down now.

“Abby, you want to head out? I just got a notification for that meeting I had to reschedule - it's first thing in the morning. We gotta be back ASAP.”

Abby loved John. She adored him. He was the best. He knew Abby well enough to know that Harper could convince her to do anything, and in this case, come back with Harper to her parents’ place. Abby knew what she was doing right now was right. She just, she couldn’t handle more of this situation with Harper’s eyes directed at her currently, like she was the only one who mattered, like Abby could choose to forget this week if she really wanted to. She had to leave.

Abby called out – “Yeah, I’ll be a minute. Roll your window back up, you’ll die of hypothermia.”

She heard him grumbling as he rolled his window back up. She turned back to Harper, who still looked devastated, but maybe a little more resigned at this point.

“We’ll talk living situations later. I’ll text you later. You should … head back to your parents’ place.”

“Abby, please.”

“I promise. I’ll text you later. Merry Christmas, Harper.”

Abby kissed Harper on the corner of her mouth and walked away. This was not the hardest thing she had ever done in her life, but it was in the top ten.

* * *

Abby put on her seatbelt and plugged in her phone, switching out the radio for their usual road trip playlist. She closed her eyes – “Drive. Now. Please.”

John gestured dramatically as he switched the gear to reverse, “Um, you were supposed to be driving the first leg, but you know, since I’m a really nice person, I’ll let it slide.”

“You killed my fish!”

“I drove 6 hours to come save you from the most conservative, Christian, and straight-laced, _for the most part_ , family I’ve ever had to make conversation with. This is why I go through the work of tracking people and things they do, so I don’t have to go through this. And I still endured it for you!”

Abby sighed and leaned back in the passenger seat. “That’s true. I love you.”

“Uh-huh, you do, do you?”

“Yeah, I love you, you goose.”

“I have equally affectionate emotions for you.”

They drove for a few minutes, before Abby remembered. “I want something salty. You finished the Takis, didn’t you?”

“Yes, and there are no crumbs in the car. See, some can eat elegantly.”

“Say that to the lo mein you ate last week.”

“Say that to the dumplings with your unsuccessful chopstick venture.”

“Say that to – I still need snacks though. Maybe I’ll get Cheetos. Your dashboard needs a dash of orange.”

Someone overhearing them in the car would not have known that one of them had just gone through a crappy week. Friendships are amazingly intimate in that way, that friends know exactly what to do to pick you up when you’re depressed. If that someone knew Abby and John very well, they would know that John would be there for Abby when she needed to break down, as she’d been there for him in the past.

**Author's Note:**

> Please talk to me on [Tumblr](https://ahoymultiships.tumblr.com)!!


End file.
